Sweet Dreamer

Friday morning

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:27:56 GMT

Dreaming of --> Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand <--

The time now is 6.30 in the morning on a soon to be bright Friday morning. I've been up since 5.30 and have had myself a nice plate of Mee Goreng (only my second packet since returning back here) and egg, listening to the bird singing while I chow down the hot noodles.

Funny, I realise I often start of my entries with telling the time and plenty more entries generally revovling around the concept of time (or lack thereof). I guess with time being so short on our hands, I haven't really learned to appreciate it. Whether it is 5 minutes or 5 hours, I just don't think I have begun using it to its maximum potential.

Something is on my mind but I don't know what. Why else would I be awake right?

A little recapping shows that I haven't made an entry since New Years Eve. It's already March going on April. So many things have happened in between that short (or long) period of time.

Birthdays, a time for cake and candles. It's meaning brings significance to the person celebrating it, varying from year to year. What does "getting older" really mean? Does it make me more mature?

Chinese New Year, the only time when eating snacks for breakfast is exceptable. I miss all the goodies. Once a year, but I've stocked up pretty well, not to worry *pats own stomach*.

A short month spent working in a magazine company gave me a glimpse of what perhaps the next 30 years of my life was going to be. Scared the shit outta me! How many people can say they honestly love l.o.v.e their job?

Then it came time to leave again. I still can't tell where I would rather be.

Tears and sadness. Happiness and elation. I'm hoping to learn more from this life on earth. As painful as it may be sometimes, time heals all wounds.

People often ask for "just a little more time". But just when is our time up?

it's over?

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:20:45 GMT

Dreaming of --> Down Down Down by The Presets<--

I'm sitting here in my darkened room. A month since I got of that red and white airplane, set foot on home soil and started sweating again. From where I am, the audible rythmic thumping of the bass can be heard pretty clearly. Oh One Utama, what a love-hate relationship we have.

You know it's that time again; a celebration. But this time, it's no ordinary celebration because it is the ushering in of a brand new year. Goodbye 2008 and welcome 2009! Where did

12 months

365.242199 days

8 765.81277 hours

525 948.766 minutes

31 556 926 seconds

dissapear to? In all that time, 2008 shall be now known to me as "A Year for Firsts'".

They year began in a foreign country. Sipping vodka by the Embankment was already a firsts. Unfortunately, I must warn you that I don't know whether I will greet you with open arms 2009. I will try my best though.

I do know however, I will wish my family A Happy New Year with open arms. I do know I will greet my friends with open arms.

Missing you much.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

alternate states

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 17:12:31 GMT

Dreaming of --> Time to Pretend by MGMT <--

The only thing on the agenda this pass two weeks:
(1) sleep
(2) tissues.

Lots of it. Both of it. Together unfortunately.

Wake me up when it's time for my Japanese lunch. In about 10 hours. Thanks much. =3

12 and counting

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:35:13 GMT

Dreaming of --> Just Dance by Lady GaGa <--

"I hate you!"

"Oh, don't rub it in"

*rolls eyes*

"Media students.... Tsk."

*double middle finger waving action*

"You're done..... already?!?!?"

Those were just some of the reactions I got when I begun hanging out way to much around the flat reading story books, taking naps on the couch mid-day and baking cookies. I would gladly take all the verbal abuse and some physical ones as well if it meant that I was done for the Semester 2/08 of university! And so I've paid my dues. I am done! Sweet!

"We are going back next week"

Is also another popular line in our conversations these few days. Unbelievable is the one word that comes to my mind at the moment. That inevitably weird feeling of a combination of happinness and sadness gets to me sometimes. Especially when I'm alone and the only sounds to keep me company are the crows. With Tim Tams in hand, and the cold weather in Spring makes me dread going home. Of course there are my awesome Flat 20 flatmates. Sigh.

Yet, it is as though I can already smell the oily goodness of Hokkien mee or Char Sui calling me. Hot sticky weather, broadband and cable TV? Not to mention, the smiling faces of friends and family back home to greet me. I can only hope theirs is bigger than mine.

insert title here

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:03:31 GMT

Because this post does not need an introduction.

To:

"1. TAKE CARE (esp your health)
2. STUDY HARD (faster get your degree cert)
3. NEVER 4get us
4. GET A ANG MOH BOYFRIEND (haha.. jk only)

5. NEVER GIVE UP (anyway, when you have problems, can let us know ok? We'll always support you)"

I try my very best to live by these rules everyday. Even number 4 :D

"I don't really know how to express myself in words"

For someone who said that, you sure do it very well. I'll be home soon to shop with you :)

"... and the highest crime would be almost not knowing you are leaving to perth!"

Don't worry, neither did I. Maybe I should say I am soft on the outside and hard on the inside?

"Open me"

I'm waiting to claim that voucher. Valid till forever right?

"first bonding moment with you"

I was amazed as well, how little we knew each other before that ride home and how a friendship would begin from there on.

"I bet you could not recall it too so haih that's not important"

I wish I could :( Would it make it better if we did?

"You're going to absolutely LOVE the FREEDOM, babey!"

But it isn't quite the same if I ain't got you...

"*us crying over Skype*"

Pretty silly now that I come to think of it. Proves how much I love you.. but we do cry over everything no? Can't wait to see you back home.

i finally feel

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:31:27 GMT

Dreaming of --> Tainted Love by Soft Cell <--

51 Days. Yes, till I get home.

It feels as though it was just yesterday when I opened my tightly bounded cardboard Milo box for the Immigration Officers at the airport to sheepishly reveal packets of tissue paper and spices even a kettle somewhere in there. The funny feeling I got when I stepped out from the car to see the Murdoch crest on the front wall. It was only the logo we ever saw printed on our papers back home. Those emails from the university regarding campus updates I have been receiving for a good year and a half prior finally make sense!

Being here can surely make you feel isolated. In regards to the name as well huh? --
"one of the most isolated metropolitan areas on Earth". But I surely feel as though I've lost touch of what has been going on back home. I missed a Merdeka post, a September 11 tribute as well as Raya. Not to mention the political status...

But most of all, I missed on a thank you post to those who came to send me off at the airport.

Disconnected is another word which comes to mind. After hearing about the news of the QF027 Quantas flight and then knowing somebody who was on the plane when it happened sort of puts you a little back into perspective.

Miss you much.

wednesday secrets?

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:05:11 GMT

Dreaming of --> Always by Bon Jovi <--

Sunday Secrets: The tag line of The PostSecrets community. I've been absolutely fascinated by the amazing talent of these people who bravely submit their secrets written on a postcard. How one secret can be explained in so few words yet its message read loud and clear.

Recently I stumbled upon a Malaysian blogger,Hui Wen, who because of the high traffic at her site, was able to get responses to this particular post. Now that just sounded bitter didn't it?

Spot mine?

------------

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Share a secret, tell a story.

Shamelessly stolen from belles-lettres.

134 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I was 16, I was popular.

And now that I am 24, I am hated for being that once popular girl.

10:38 PM

Anonymous said...

I secretly wish for my friends' misfortune, but I hate myself for it.

10:43 PM

Anonymous said...

I still have a soft spot for my first love... even though it's been 6 years...

and I'm jealous of his current girlfriend who's also my ex-schoolmate... damn!

11:02 PM

Anonymous said...

I sell clothes but I don't like them, because it doesn't show my personality. yet, I still have to pretend I like them, because I need to sell them.

12:06 AM

Anonymous said...

i'm scratching my bum

12:30 AM

Anonymous said...

I have low self-esteem but I fake it when I am around people.

12:47 AM

Anonymous said...

I held a guy's hand and he held mine. When we both have our own partner.

We were both in love, yet dare not to step out of our current relationships.

We are classmates. Seeing him in class everyday is a pain.

Many words left unsaid between us.
I guess i would have to keep myself occupied, just so to let go of him.

1:09 AM

Anonymous said...

I chased him away and pretended not to care so I could forget him.

He's forgotten me, but I still think about him everyday.

1:35 AM

Anonymous said...

I was the one to walk away from a guy I love.d,and now that I love him again,he refuses to let me into his life because he no longer love.s me.

2:00 AM

Jing said...

I swear Anonymous 4 is not me WTFFFF!

3:28 AM

Anonymous said...

i hate my boyfriend's brother because hes a jackass

4:11 AM

Anonymous said...

I cut myself coz I couldn't accept the fact that my ex no longer loves me.

4:33 AM

Anonymous said...

I'm engaged but i met a guy at a club recently. Everything is my head and heart yells NO but why am i thinking of him all the time. :(

7:17 AM

Anonymous said...

my ex boyfriend is annoying me because he acts cute. he is a nice person except for that fact. grow up!

7:47 AM

Anonymous said...

I wish my friends cared more.

7:48 AM

Anonymous said...

i have an exam in under 3 hours, i haven't studied a single thing but i'm here typing this.

7:49 AM

Anonymous said...

I wish that sometimes i have the courage to stand up for myself and my closed ones

8:59 AM

Anonymous said...

we broke up for almost 4 months now. he lost alot of weight. and whenever i see current pics of him, i see the guy i fell in love with 4 years ago. and almost forgot the 4 years that we shared and wishes to start it all over again. yet reality shakes me up again. looks might change but personalities wont. :(

9:09 AM

Anonymous said...

I think you're really pretty (L) I mean <3 oops did that give me away wtf

9:22 AM

Anonymous said...

I went out with my ex behind my boyfriend's back. Twice. The first time was with a group of friends, the second time was for dinner. Nothing happened between us of course, but I feel guilty about it. Oh, and I fell asleep on his shoulder in the car >__<

9:34 AM

Anonymous said...

i hate myself for telling lies to my bf

9:53 AM

Anonymous said...

sometimes i hate myself for being selfish in the name of love.
i think that's not healthy to the relationship and to me as a person but i just couldn't control my emotion and my action. in the end,a question to ask myself, do i care about him or am i just being selfish?as days go by, this gray spotted area is overlapsing from within and i'm starting to lose my ground.

10:32 AM

Anonymous said...

i cheated on my bf with a married guy

12:10 PM

Anonymous said...

it's been 4 years since we broken up.

since then, i hf found myself a perfect guy who couldn't live without me.

BUT i haf this sickening feeling that if my ex ever wants me back again (it was a mutual break up), i would run to his arms again despite our only 1/2 year of companionship.

12:49 PM

Anonymous said...

I made out with my ex in a club. strangely, after a week later, my current bf told me he had a dream bout me making out with my ex IN THE SAME CLUB! I denied, but I felt super guilty.

12:51 PM

Anonymous said...

i secretly wish that i am model skinny a.k.a size zero, but when i talk to my friends i pretend to hate skinny girls because they are unhealthy.

1:17 PM

Anonymous said...

I cheated on my bf few times with a friend.I felt so guilty about it I stopped seeing that guy altogether =)

and i sometimes steals from my bf to feed my shopping habits cause sometimes he just don't give enough and he doesnt know cause he put quite a lot in his bag and i steal few hundreds at times.

2:51 PM

Anonymous said...

I think I may have mutual feelings for my bestfriend's boyfriend. What's worse is that we have more in common.

2:53 PM

Anonymous said...

i secretly have the need to be better than all my friends.

3:11 PM

Anonymous said...

My bf stands out in a crowd (at least in Asia) due to his size and height. People wonder why I'm with him when I can get better-looking guys.

He's the best in bed.

4:15 PM

Anonymous said...

I secretly wish that all the prettier girls in the world would develop eczema leaving me to be the prettiest.

4:24 PM

Anonymous said...

I wish i was more confident in every sense of the word. I get compliments all the time, but i wish i believed them when i look in the mirror and not see one too many imperfections.

5:01 PM

Anonymous said...

- My friends are aneroxic, i tell them its unhealthy but i secretly wants to be like that too.

- I have problems looking at myself in the mirror in front of people.

- I hate being seen alone.

- My friends should grow up.

5:02 PM

Anonymous said...

The reason I don't cheat on my bf (I did once) is because he's got the biggest **** among all guys i've been with.

Another reason is because he's rich.

5:16 PM

Anonymous said...

-I sell clothes online(both 2nd hand and new),I sometimes pretend they're new eventhought they're worn but never wash.

-I'm secretly happy because people are stupid enough to buy my clothes/shoes I sells in my online boutique because they're actually very cheap!

-People with doctorate degree are better in fashion *winks*

5:19 PM

Anonymous said...

I wish all my so-called friends here would suffer, like they deserve. I can't put up with their stupid facades anymore. Yet, I have to smile when I see them.

I'm not happy with my bf either. He's very nice and very loving. He tolerates my attitudes and all. But he can't satisfy me in bed at all.

I don't know what to do with my life.

5:25 PM

Anonymous said...

-I have the need to feel superior and be no. 1 in my class all the time. And I secretly love it when people say that I'm smart.

-I wish I could tell my ex's current gf that the guy she's dating is an idiot (in studies and in bed)

-I love money so much that I would feel insecure without it.

5:36 PM

Anonymous said...

i miss him.. this much |--------------------------------------|

7:17 PM

Anonymous said...

i love being the center of attention altho i act like i hate it..

7:18 PM

Anonymous said...

i want to fall in love but i don't know how to.

7:22 PM

Anonymous said...

think i might have feelings for one of my best-guy mate though i am not really sure how i feel about him. it's probably cos we hang out most of the time and i guess that's how my feelings towards him started.

7:42 PM

Anonymous said...

i thought i love him more. But soon i realized i love my ex more. because i am Me when i am with him.

7:47 PM

Anonymous said...

i dislike one of my best guy friend's gf. becoz to me she's such a fake barbie.
i know and felt her being vr low esteem and put me into comparison all the time as i caught her capturing random pics of me all the time!
seriously, get a life.

7:48 PM

Anonymous said...

i wish people are less scandalous and stop cheating behind their lovers' back hahahahah

8:09 PM

Anonymous said...

I've always been confident about how I look until I met my current boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, he loves me the way I am but I feel like I'm not good enough for him.

I'm going for plastic surgery next year.

8:30 PM

Anonymous said...

I will always think that I will never be good enough for anyone. I hate self-pity because it's purely pathetic and totally useless.

8:47 PM

Anonymous said...

i love my bf unconditionally but i secretly lust after my ex. My ex and i are still friends but we dont get to keep in touch much because he's in malaysia and Im in sydney. The last time i was home in malaysia, the awkwardness between us was undeniable. Around friends we're our usual selves but left alone, it's a complete different story altogther. I thank god for all the self control I have for not acting on my desires in malaysia because it would be something I would regret for life - I can never ever cheat on my current bf - it would break my heart. Why do i feel this way?

Lust is evil.

8:48 PM

Anonymous said...

I've always wanted to tell people that what I have now is not what I really wanted. So what if I've everything I ever wanted, what really matters most is a happy family. I wish I have a happy family.

9:12 PM

Anonymous said...

I am half-bulimic. I run to the toilet when my stomach feels like barfing after I have my meal.

I want to be a Christian, but I am afraid my parents won't accept me when I convert when I grow up. I planned it out already, when I go overseas to study, I would convert there.

I am already praying to God, Himself replying my prayers everyday.

I am sometimes in love. Not crush. In love. Temporarily.

9:20 PM

Anonymous said...

I really wish my friends would care more about me and would go all out to show their love for me. It hurts me so much to feel left out.

9:20 PM

Anonymous said...

I broke up with a guy who was head over heels in love with me to go for a guy I was head over heels in love with. That guy dumped me and now I see just how stupid I was to let go off my ex. I miss him and I want him back but at the same time, I'm worried I will end up hurting him again. Karma has a strange way of sneaking up on people.

9:31 PM

Anonymous said...

I am not sure I love my boyfriend.

9:39 PM

Anonymous said...

I feel happy, that there are so many unhappy people in this world to accompany to me.

(in reference to all the above comments)

9:49 PM

Anonymous said...

I am happier than a lot of people up there..

9:54 PM

Anonymous said...

I wish you would make the first step and call me. I'm ready to fix things.

(The most ridiculous thing is that I don't know how that will change things, we still can't be together, and I still don't like the new you.)

10:25 PM

Anonymous said...

i had one too many flings but all i want is just to settle down. sigh. now people around thinks i cant be taken seriously. :(

10:49 PM

Anonymous said...

when i have sex with my boyfriend i think of another man.

10:52 PM

Anonymous said...

i like a guy...and i think he likes me too...i wouldn't mind making the first move...but i kinda mind the fact that he is earning much lesser than me...

11:14 PM

Anonymous said...

I am dying to have a boyfriend.My last relationship was about a year plus,and I had never felt lonelier than ever.Scandals and flings are there,but never once true.Hence,the name scandal.
And I secretly in (like) with my best guy friend.He is married,but so what!

11:15 PM

Eeflin said...

eh sorry to break the cycle but your readers damn layan la HAHA.

ok here's a secret, but i won't post anonymously cos i'm stupid like that.. i read your sister's blog as well but she doesn't know HAHAHAHAHAAH.

11:18 PM

Anonymous said...

i lie so much that i don't even know when am i telling the truth anymore. i want to stop but i just don't know how. i steal too. all the time. i may look confident on the outside but deep down i feel that im too fat and ugly. i wished i was this other blogger who seemed to have it all.

12:15 AM

Anonymous said...

i don't know why some people whom i was so close to don't like me anymore

12:18 AM

Anonymous said...

i don't wear heels because my boyfriend is shorter than me.

i say i don't mind, but deep down ... :(

12:21 AM

Anonymous said...

I wish to fall in love again but I forgot how to.

I've built walls around me so I won't get hurt. Guys come to me like bees but they just come n go coz everyone thinks that I won't take them seriously.

But deep down I miss missing someone n I miss to be missed.

1:22 AM

Anonymous said...

I had sex with another guy behind my ex boyfriend's back but i dont feel guilty of it, AT ALL. In fact i think he deserves it.

1:37 AM

Anonymous said...

I pretend as if everything's okay when it's not. I pretend to be strong when the truth is, I'm vulnerable as hell. I pretend I don't care when I really do.

1:59 AM

Anonymous said...

I cheated on my bf when I was overseas. I did it because I thought that guy & I mutually really liked each other. Next thing I find out soon after, a good fren of mine I confided in, betrayed me by back-stabbing me with that guy I cheated with. I know I'm the fool in all this yet I am dem unsatisfied by how these 2 ppl hurt me in a way I've yet not learn to forgo. Anyway the truth was that she was a real bitch who liked to bitch behind ppl's back & his dick was so tiny even when erected.

2:24 AM

Anonymous said...

i read her private blog wanting to know whats going on between us. and i understood. her private life is too crazy for me to handle.

6:24 AM

Anonymous said...

im a low self esteem person, a person who lacks confident, yet i pull a front face every time i face people. im a 2 faced.

10:43 AM

Anonymous said...

i have a 10 inch monster gigantic dick but i always tell girls in malaysia that i have an average dick, because i know they will run away from me if they know the truth.

lol wtf

11:39 AM

Anonymous said...

i'm in love with someone who will never feel the same way about me.

this has happened more often than i would like to admit.

this is making me feel like i'm unloveable and that i will eventually die alone.

i don't know how to 'snap out of it'.

1:17 PM

Anonymous said...

I keep going back to my ex umpteen times even though I know he has a stable gf. All because of money.

1:25 PM

Anonymous said...

my boyfriend cheated on me twice. but i'm still with him although I found out about it.
I feel like a disgrace to all women / girls but I can't seem to pull myself out of it.
I believe that mistakes will be repeated. But it's just a matter of time before my heart breaks into a million pieces again.

5:21 PM

Anonymous said...

I wonder if my bf will be bored of me coz i'm always ready when he wants to have sex. like, anywhere.

well, problem is, i like it too.

5:25 PM

Anonymous said...

I haven't started earning my own money and I'm already living in deficit ($$).
But I can't stop myself from shopping.

I hate my boyfriend's ex gf because he seem to have loved her alot and i'm fucking jealous.

I made out with my female friend in a bathroom. I'm straight.

5:35 PM

Anonymous said...

i just reached 20 years of age. I like older man for their maturity, experience (in life and in bed), knowledge and most importantly, their money.

I don't mind dating man up to late 30s. As long as they can provide me with what i want.

5:53 PM

Anonymous said...

could someone please tell me whats the link is all about?what secret?

5:54 PM

Anonymous said...

I havent shit in the past 4 days.
4 days ago, I shit because I ate laxative.

6:23 PM

Anonymous said...

My group of friends in my ex-high school (I'm in college now) used to hate this other 'wannabe popular'/'act all US high school' group of people. We used to bitch about how sneaky and backstabbing they are among themselves.

Now, after high school, they are still close to each other, taking the effort to meet up every now and then.

However, MY own group of friends, who used to snigger about them and all their lying and backstabbing, do not contact each other often, and only see each other every once in a few months.

Even when we DO, it feels awkward and we've lost that closeness. I'm secretly jealous of the other group... I guess my friends who I thought are 'true friends' aren't really true friends.

7:16 PM

Anonymous said...

i hate girls who are not working and uses her parent's money to buy lv.

7:25 PM

Anonymous said...

i'm dating a guy whom i think would be the ideal one, but i don't seems to love him.

i feel lack out when i'm with my friend, i think it's just because i'm always asking for more.

I'm jealous over something that happen around me easily.

i think i'm not straight.

and this is sickening

7:31 PM

Anonymous said...

if i had to pick between money or love, i'd pick money.

even though i'd never admit to this in real life

7:43 PM

Anonymous said...

I wish I could take back those harsh words about not wanting you back.

I wish you would just call me and make this work.

Because it's been more than a year and I am still hovering over the phone.

(and I might just shatter any time soon)

8:57 PM

Anonymous said...

My vajajay itches. Not.kidding

Ok on a more serious note,I hope i get accepted to RMIT for fashion

9:39 PM

Anonymous said...

i fart everywhere

10:30 PM

Anonymous said...

i like boobs

10:31 PM

Anonymous said...

i like two guys. both are great and make me laugh. just like. not infatuated. not love. :(

10:32 PM

Anonymous said...

i hate those people who only know how to spend money.buying branded stuff isnt a very proud thing i would say.some people would spend up to million bucks just to buy a few designer brands.it sickens me.

if they are rich,donate some money to the charity or orphanage.

10:34 PM

Anonymous said...

i agree with the above.

anyway, i made out with my ex in the car at a car park and we were caught by the security guard because he thought we were having sex. he threatened us to bring us to the police. wtf.

10:49 PM

Anonymous said...

my name is not anonymous

11:19 PM

Anonymous said...

Out of the 90 comments here, i spotted the two my boyfriend wrote. Effortlessly

11:42 PM

Anonymous said...

Its been 1 year, 1 month and 16 days since my last relationship. I've had two nice fellas pursuing me, but I never felt the same for either one. I thought I was strong enough to face the world alone (when previously I'd always been quite the clingy girlfriend, and one who is very attached to her boyf), I seriously thought I wasnt going to fall for anyone *just like that* ever again..cos I just wasnt interested in relationships at all at one time! in fact, I was prepared to face singledom for many years to come. BUT, due to a weird twist of fate, I met him.
-He isnt the best-est looking guy around, but his smile melts my heart and he looks so awfully cute in his plastic framed glasses:)
-He annoys the heck outta me with his lame attempts to crack silly jokes and shoot me with nonsensical sarcastic remarks, yet deep down he is a softie and a uber nice and caring friend who's ever-ready to listen and provide me with the best solutions/advice when needed :)
-the best part? He is a man of many big dreams. One who clearly knows what he wants, and is doing his level best to achieve his dreams. the most determined and ambitious man I got to know by far..........and this is what attracts me to him so much, so so much, that the closer we are to each other, the more certain I am that we can only remain as friends, and only the best of friends.

Nothing hurts more than knowing that you cannot get the something, the only thing, that you truly want and have always hoped and yearned for all this while. Y'know what they say about life being a bitch? I cant agree more.

12:34 AM

Anonymous said...

can i not be anonymous?

12:42 AM

Anonymous said...

i'm jealous. with my bestfriend. i know it's wrong but i cant help thinking+feeling she's hotter and better than me. and my boyfriend thinks i'm crazy for thinking like that. =/

1:26 AM

Anonymous said...

oh i forgot, i envy her family too. they're so close and i dont get why my parents can never be satisfied enough with me. there's always something wrong with me.

and yes, life's a bitch! but it has to go on... *sigh*

1:30 AM

Anonymous said...

I'm secretly rejoicing the fact that there r so many fucked up ppl just like myself.

3:55 AM

Anonymous said...

i have a boyfriend; i love him but i still have soft spots for the guy i liked before him although he has played a fool on me.

1:11 PM

Anonymous said...

In response to anon 10.49, I made out with my boyfriend in a vacant parking lot, and got caught by the police. Had to bayar duit kopi of course.

That counts as 2 secrets right?

2:43 PM

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I'm doing this, crap.

Well, I'm still very much in love with my ex. We broke up not because he had his own family issues which all of us know that it's taking too much out of him. His dad is an alcoholic and in a huge amount of debt.

Which explains why he can't commit since he cant even take care of himself, what bout taking care of me?

We broke up.

In a harsh way. He threw all his hurtful words at me and I kept reminding myself what he said that night to make myself to move on with my life.

The funniest thing is, whenever I think about him, I can't help but smile to myself like a dork and when I realize, I'll snap out of it and tell myself "determination"!

Yeah, I miss him alot and whenever I'm around him, I have to put on a mask as if I forgotten about us and moved on with my life, but secretly, I'm still very much missing him and god, I'll be seeing him later?

How am I supposed to put up with that? SIGH.

4:23 PM

Anonymous said...

I made my friend fall in love with me, and now I think I love him.

But I'm still with my boyfriend, because he is rich, and looks better.

5:51 PM

Kit Mey, Allison Yeo said...

I like this post :P

6:12 PM

Anonymous said...

wow.i never knew we were such complicated, twisted creatures.
i wish we were simple and happy
the vibe of your blog gives off that vibe=)
have a nice life=)

9:16 PM

Anonymous said...

i only said yes to him because it felt convenient.

9:59 PM

Anonymous said...

i wish people would stop having sex before marriage.

10:15 PM

Anonymous said...

I broke up for reasons of wanting to stay pure and now I don't believe I'll ever be able to be involved in a long term relationship anymore.

I believe I am ugly.

10:18 PM

Anonymous said...

There's this guy tt I really, really like. He is the first I've liked this way, altho i've had crushes before. Sounds cliche but liking him has changed the way I define love. hesitant to use the word "love" cos afterall i may not knw th true meaning yet.

there were quite a few periods of time since knwing each other tt we've had sth going on between us but it nv became anything concrete.

altho this whole unrequited thing sucks, i find a part of myself unwilling to let go of this.

7:25 AM

Anonymous said...

I am a virgin, and so is my boyfriend. We both do want to have sex, but I'm just too afraid (it hurts, so bad)

The worst thing is that I imagine of a woman pleasuring me instead of him when we're in the bed.

11:59 AM

Anonymous said...

i secretly wish that things could go back to how they were with my ex. that he's still the best one for me.

and i secretly wish that my current boyf would just dump me because i'm afraid of hurting his feelings

12:00 PM

Anonymous said...

i am regret tat i didnt make things clear when two of my close guy frens told me that they like me almost at the same time(both of belongs to the same group of friends). i made things complicated and flirt around so that i wont lose any of them. A is so caring and loveable, treats me like a princess. B is so funny,sensitive and understanding.
in the end i chose A becuz he is a more ideal bf than B. im showered with loads of love now but at the same time, i've lost an important fren B who impacts my life so much. he just wont understand and forgive me. once i started couple i dont belong to the fun anymore. its all been disasttor to my social life. everyone has forgotten about me. everything has changed so much.i hate the reality for being so realistic and cruel. it is my fault for hurting B. but i had to choose to end the complications. i knoe i am so selfish. i know something u need to sacrifice something in order to gain something u wan. but all this shit is not wad i wanted at all! and worst, my gfs all transfered to a new sch and left me alone in uni. fine. tat's okay isnt it?
but guess wad? i found out that they are turning agaisnt me. honestly, i didnt do anything at all. i gossip but i dont backstab.i gave my heart to them and treasure them as my real fren and all i get is their cold face. they are the one who told me shits like "im lucky to have u as my bestie and bla bla bla" yea right. it really breaks my heart.

5:52 PM

Anonymous said...

i dont think sleeping around makes a girl a slut.

12:02 AM

Anonymous said...

i secretly admire the hoe sisters very much wishing that im a friend of theirs so they would bring me shopping and give me fashion adivce.

was involved in an inter-racial relationship and NEED to call it off due to all objections from parents. i wish i never have to break up. seeing him with another girl is just unbearable. he's the sweetest guy i'd ever have :(

12:46 AM

Anonymous said...

i had an inter-racial relationship too. but i'm glad we broke up because he's such a jerk.

1:10 AM

Anonymous said...

When we were gossiping, I agreed with my girlfriends when they said that girls who sleep around were cheap.

Last night, for the first time, I was that girl.

And I liked it.

2:58 PM

revel in me said...

anonymous (4.33am): You should never ever hurt yourself!! Especially over a guy. Take good care of yourself, dear, and you HAVE to take positive lengths to get over him. It is painful now, and seems hard, but I know you can do it. :)

To all other anonymouses: Thank you for sharing your secrets, it has been incredibly mind-opening, and I really, really appreciate you all letting me into your private moment. :) A big fat squishy hug for all of you (even the bum-scratching one wtf), and I hope that for some of you who are going through pain and hurt, that the bad moments will be lifted soon, and tomorrow is a better, and happier day. :)

[I am sorry that I can't reply each comment personally, there are simply too many comments, and I don't feel I am in any place to make any comments-- it is YOUR own personal story, after all. :) But if you feel that you need any.. reassurance, feedback, advice.. or just someone to talk to, feel free to email me. Anonymously, of course. :)]

6:29 PM

Anonymous said...

i hate having big boobs..i m very shy of them as ppl talk behind of me.. n i couldnt wear nice clothes n bikini..i found out some pills which can reduce them without having side effects..but i m still not convinced whether they really do not hv any side effects..i really hope tht one day when i wake up,my boobs r smaller..

7:14 PM

Anonymous said...

7:14 PM

Anonymous said...

I'm still dating the guy who continuously lied to me and passed me a heck load of STDs. I used to boast about how I never believed in love. Yet now I am perpetually stuck in that love-rut.

7:43 PM

Anonymous said...

damn.. i have big boobs too.. yeah its very annoying when i need to wear some empire dresses.. tho at times my friends complimented on my assets which they wished for..

1:31 AM

Anonymous said...

i want to leave a comment.. anonymously too..

1:49 AM

Anonymous said...

I get mad at my boyf when I imagine that he is lusting for my bestf because she's prettier and hotter.

I am also jealous of his ex and I flammed her blog once.

1:11 PM

Anonymous said...

I had an inter-racial relationship when I was 15 and he was always trying to finger me. Bastard.

7:15 PM

Anonymous said...

I had an abortion once... but I married the same man today... for love and not for baby..However we still regretted our decision then...

9:38 PM

Comment deleted

This post has been removed by the author.

7:11 AM

Anonymous said...

ooops. shhh.

7:12 AM

Anonymous said...

im assuming most of the readers are roughly around the age of yours huiwen. :) why are most of us in trouble with relationships and sex. :(

12:16 PM

Anonymous said...

i never found out his real identity

2-3 years later i wish i was curious enough to ask him.

2:23 PM

Anonymous said...

Until recently, I never realised sex and related activities are SOOoo bloody good.

You people who haven't should try it, of course with condoms. And do it with someone you love :D

11:10 PM

Anonymous said...

i am dating my boyfriend for money and i am secretly disgusted by him.

3:37 AM

Anonymous said...

I knew this guy during mid July and we connected instantly. However, I never got the chance to confess my true feelings to him as he did to me earlier cuz he passed away in a high speed fatal car crash at mid August. He is only 20...

3:52 AM

Anonymous said...

i just broke up with my bf of 3 years and i miss him so terribly each day. i still am in love with him but i refused to tell anyone about it because my arrogance got the better of me. and i'm going out with another guy who thought i love him so, when in fact i'm just as confused as shits.

8:44 AM

Anonymous said...

i have a bf who adores and loves me. however, i recently met my ex-bf again, and all the feelings come gushing back. in a way, im also leading him on since we keep in contact quite closely now. i hate myself for this, and have not been peaceful since. my mind's constantly thinking about my ex, but at the same time i know that i will never hurt my bf who has sacrificed so much for me. who knows what will happen next.

8:37 PM

Anonymous said...

@ anon 1.11pm
I get mad at my bf when I imagine he likes another girl that he goes to class with. I flame her blog too.
And I also get mad at my bf when he has any contact with the girl he liked before dating me.

Is there something wrong with me?

9:50 PM

Anonymous said...

I can't decide if I want to be with my bf forever or not. The decision has to be made soon as one of us will have to move across countries for the other. How will I know if he is the one?

9:53 PM

Anonymous said...

I hate being nice and to know that my friends (even the closest one) take granted of my kindness. BLAH.

3:03 PM

------------------------------

Funny how most of the secrets are relationship and sex related.

And no, mine isn't the big boobs one.

is this what...

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 22:45:19 GMT

The clock reads 5.45. And I don't mean in the evening.

The sun is beginning to rise and the birds are starting to chirp. I think even the water sprinklers just went off. The sights and sounds of a new day.

I have been awake since ten in the morning and not in that single moment has my thoughts left you. I was surprised I did not shed one single tear when I hugged you goodbye. I thought it would have been harder to fight back the tears that never came and they didn't; until yesterday.

As I sat down on my bed reading your letter. It brought tears and a smile to my face at the same time.

You'd think that things won't ever change. But like the seasons, spring is here and winter gone like a lost memory. Spiders and insects emerge from their hiding place to set out on a new adventure; hopefully not to be squashed by a screaming girl.

As I sat in my place in front of the table, I thought of you and I stopped my self from crying but the smile crept onto my face and tear ran down my cheek.

Infatuated by adventures like the not-so-little spider, day dreams of spinning webs cloud my mind and buds bloom into pretty flowers.

As I type this, I pray you never read it.

bawl lawl

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 05:58:25 GMT

My... what a whirlwind three weeks this has been! From the moment I was told that my visa had been approved (a mere week before departure mind you) until now, I would like to proclaim a self inflicted writers block. In other words, I just couldn't find the time to sit down and write an entry worthy of reading. Not that this one is going to be any better. This entry is just to prove that I am not otherwise dead.

The week before leaving was a mad frienzied rush to buy things while also scheduling meet-ups with friends and family involving a lot of eating and more. Boy oh boy did Mom get pissed that my shadow was hardly visible around the house up till the day before; which I spent the entire night and morning trying to stuff clothes into every possible cavity of any bag available. Read: laptop bag.. *shy* Yes, so my bag was overweight but at least I have a rice cooker and kettle to keep me warm and fed in the cold lonely nights *cough* and a lot of clothes too *cough*.

The scene at the airport resembled a malfunction at the waterworks department and all the staff at SYABAS was off duty. Well, with 7 girls. Really, I saw this coming.

I spent the first night freezing cold with a thin blanket to keep me warm and no pillow. A horrid first night spent jabbing the red button on the heater (which turns off automatically every hour). Lets just say I wasn't the nicest person the next morning... and Perth and I weren't on talking terms.

But it got better and Orientation week basically felt like I was on holiday. In fact, it still felt that way up until the moment I was sitting in the Hill Lecture Theater listening to the lecturer give a too well rehearsed speech. God bless our souls for the next semester.

first glimpse

Well, off to class at 1.30pm today!

Leaving you with a memorable quote before leaving:

Remember bunny... don't get your heart broken but most importantly don't break your hymen!

LAWL!

uh-oh..

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:46:30 GMT

Realisation at 0246 hours:

I have waaaaaaaaaay too much clothes (and stuff) and waaaaaaaaaaaay too little baggage space.

oh.. shoot. shoot. shoot.